A difference

I know its been 10 years of putting it on... babies.. drinking... eating... zero time for work outs- hell just showering some days was my accomplishment. I put them first. Hubby and kids come first. But now that I'm swimming Im really hoping to see a change in my body. In my mind I'm still a skinny person who has put on a little weight. Then I see myself in a pic or my reflection and its stops me cold. Whoa. But honestly I swim hard, and see an imporment every day- so I'm hoping I see my legs start toning up, and my pants to start to not fit.... I guess even if they don't I'm going to keep swimming. I feel so much better all day long when I swim in the morning.

Trying to plan our trip, plan fashion camp for Sophie, our anniversary party, and still do all that it is we do every day. I cant decide if I want to get a dress for our party or just an awesome outfit... here are my choices:

I know I know- this is beautiful because its a size 0...and its not going to look the same on me... who is most deff not a size zero. But Its so beautiful and simple. For a back yard anniversary party I think it would be perfect...

This I feel like with a good pair of jeans is dressy and breezy and beautiful. I feel like Id be less self conscious in it too. But I'm tired of always wearing black and white... I wanted some color in my life... if it came in yellow Id be all over it.

I want to be the woman who wears this dress. I wish I had the confidence and body for it. I wish I could try it on and know one way or the other. 

I like this, but feel like its not enough. Maybe with a darker jean... its the right sleeve length, the shirt color is beautiful. But I keep thinking its an every day outfit not this is us celebrating 10 years of marriage outfit.



10 years ago....

6 AM

Okay brain/body. I get that I'm feeling better and doing more by waking up and swimming BUT do I really need to be waking up at 6 now? Hell I didn't even know the sun came up this early. Hubby was sick all night long so I was up listening to him violently throwing up in the bathroom for a good portion of the night. I hate when he or my kiddos are sick. Maybe all this waking up and swimming will be good for me and help me get out of the XL clothes and back into a L? Fingers crossed.

I'm feeling a strong want to share about why the Redwood forest for our trip this time. Its all about the trees. I saw that classic picture when I was younger... maybe a teen?.... with the car that is driving through a tree so big a freaking car can go through it.

That was all it took. I want to go there. I want to look up and not see the tops of trees. I want to hug a tree that my entire family cant hold arms and hug. Plus its a cross country road trip. Im hoping to see the forest, spend a few days there, then go to the beach, take the girls horseback riding, visit a few musems, and take some pictures of us as a family and of me and the hubs since this is to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. 14 years together and 10 of those are married.

Okay I'm sure it wont be much longer before the kids wake up and I have stuff I want to get done. More later.

Swimming & Breathing

I've been waking up early the last week. Pulling C off my chest and sneaking quietly into the bathroom so Daddy and baby will stay asleep. My swimsuit is hanging I throw it on, my hair up and I'm out the door to the pool.
The first day the water was cold and I questioned what I was thinking. Sleep is valuable right now. With three girls and one of them waking me up to eat through out the night its not like I'm fully rested- nor have I ever been a morning person. Seriously ask my mom- we have a rule. Not an unspoken rule, because this has been said out loud very clearly. Do NOT wake me up before 8 and its before 9 it better be pretty damn important.
Anyways. On my own I wake up from the 6 30 feeding and lay still for a few minutes and then every day I've decided to get up and go swimming.
Not only am I feeling better but I'm getting so much more done. I'm back before anyone else is awake. I'm showered, making breakfast before I see sleepy L climbing up the stairs. Today I managed to get laundry going, update the game night crew, shower, eat, and clean the kitchen.
Water does something for me. Swimming does something for me. Who needs coffee when you can wake up from a hard swim.
I also decided its time to start coming up with some fundraising options for our big trip. I have to make it there. Everything in me is screaming that this is our chance - don't let it slip between the cracks.
Maybe I can raffle off a weekend at Kahalri?